The Invitation - by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

This is quite beautiful...

The Invitation

It doesn't matter to me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, and if you can dance with the wilderness and let the ecstacy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself, if you can hear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.

I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty everyday, and if you can source your life from God's presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn't interest me who you are, how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly
like the company you keep in the empty moments.

By Oriah Mountain Dreamer

(A Native American Elder)

Sleeping waves ~~

Ive been having odd dreams again. Yes I have written them down. I at times wonder if they are associated with the strong male vibration coming around me.

The other night I seriously felt like the bed was moving. I became aware that "waves" of vibrations were coming down all around me as I laid there. I became aware of the waves and watched them for a moment, but my eyes were closed. I must have been seeing them with my minds eye.

I then realized there was a man sitting beside me looking down at me. He was smiling a kind smile, almost like a teacher would when encouraging a student or when a student was aware of the situation. It was that .. see you did it, kind of look. I came right out of the situation, because he had startled me and then I realized the bed WAS moving or I was. I awoke immediately. I remember his kind eyes. Of a lovely blue-greenish color. Sandy brown hair, kind of wavy and not too short, just above the ears.

I hope to see this face again and understand it better.

Other dreams, not really making sense, but odd none the less.

I will keep asking for signs before I drift off to sleep.

And now sleep.......

Go home ./\.

"Go Home" he says, "Go Home." But I am home. "No, go home" I cant make out the rest of what he is saying to me. He is a strong presence and persistent. Isnt home where the heart is?

Why, oh why does his name have to be the same as an old friend, who let me go. I cried when I got confirmation on this. But he also gave an answer of his name in another form, which I am not sure which it is now.

Is it telepathic? hmph, cant be. So then my next thought is he is of the other realm. Of the spirits. But I am certain he is not a spirit guide. He doesnt feel menacing, because if he is he would suck me dry of my energy and surely he would tell me lies.

Go home. Maybe start back at the basics with some of my training? The book which I have put down, because my heart aches a little (yes I EFT and I forgive and say there has to be a reason why and I do not want to assume the reason why) when I look at it, but I know it needs to be read. Perhaps back to working on the heart chakrah? Keep accessing myself? Go home ... maybe within to my soul?

Im trying to find home. Where is home? Oh how I wish you were here to help me through this. I miss you. Please let me come home?

Control

Control.

When things get out of control, I want to be in control of the situation. I need to take charge. These are with things in MY life. Things and situations going on in my life. But this doesn't do me any good. In this moment in this time and place, in this incarnation, RIGHT NOW ... there is nothing I can do to speed up the situation which has got me feeling lost and well, not in control.

What is my need for wanting to control the situations, people, things in my life? Is it the fear that I will be without something from those things? I cant control people, I cant control situations. I cant change them or make them change.

Staying in the here and now will help, but I need to detach the ideas along with the situation that isn't working to my favor. It is not helping it in any way, what so ever.

My house mate, bless her. I started to cry because I am almost out of food and have no money. Instead of panicking like I had in the past, she reminded me, I have to accept the situation, because it can not be fixed today. I have to stay in the moment and move past this panic I am feeling inside. She let me cry, its a good cleansing. So long as truly let it go.

I am reminding myself to be thankful for the things I do have. The friends, my family. I am grateful to my house mate for being in the thought PROCESS I am with and in need of. I am grateful for the food in which I DO have left and will have to spread out this week. I am grateful to still have gas in my car in case of an interview. I am grateful to have a roof over my head, warm clothes, in a positive environment. I am blessed and very very grateful in and for so many things in my life.

Reminder for today. There is nothing I can do today, so move past it. Let it go. Stay in the moment and concentrate on other things I CAN do today. I can do this! I am able to over come this. Detach myself from the feeling of feeling helpless and flow. Just flow~~~~~

Paradigm

What brings me passion? Healing, helping, scheduling events.

What brings me joy? Healing, meditation, expressing how passionate I am about my new found path of the process.

How do I move out of the old paradigm and into the new? Move away from the past ideas and into new ideas, for a job I am passionate about.

What once worked, does not work any longer. (I recall reading this in a book recently .. hmmm)

Get a job any job, just doesn't seem to be working in that favor - The old paradigm.

Finding a job which brings me joy and I feel passionate about - New paradigm.

Love from here to an eternity...

The figure of a father, an uncle ... this is what you were to me. A wise soul, who saw a spark in me.

There are days and nights I long to converse with you and tell you how I am. What I learned today or what I have planned. I always longed to tell you, because you would understand.

I hope with all my heart and of and from my soul, that on the vibrations sent on the winds, you hear how much I still love you and always will. What I miss most from you is your friendship, love and good nights.

I move forward. Many, many days go by and I am fine, but there is always that missing link. I forgive during those times and forgive myself. Breaking the rear view mirror once again.

Stay well my old friend, who one day I long to meet, hug and you will know its me and I will know its you.

With Love from here to an eternity,

Me ... aka Julie/Caffeinatedtree

~~ Lead on! ~~

I feel a presence always surrounding me, comforting me. I talk with the presence and ask questions. Sometimes I hear it and sometimes I do not. There are times all I hear is a white noise in my left ear, yet there is a faint tin like, warbled voice in the background.

When the white noise seems to not exist, I worry they have gone away. I am learning more and more, fear is the enemy. They would never go away, they love me unconditionally. So I address the presence and I get reassurance. I send love, gratitude and appreciation once again. I am never alone and they have always been with me.

I know in time, in this lifetime, in this incarnation I will be more in tune with them. These are only the first steps.

Lead on kindly lights! :)