The Dance

I took your hand

At first we joked.  A laugh and some fun.

And then there was a look in your eyes.

Those deep intense eyes.

A soft, warm smile, pull me closer.  

It seemed we barely moved.  

Your hand holding mine to our chests.

I could feel your heart beat.

Then, cheek to cheek.  

Breath again my skin. 

Your warmth.

Your clothes rubbing against mine.  

Our energies mingling like it always does when we are close.  

This time it was different.  

We didnt say a word, we knew without words.

And then you gently kissed the side of my head and I smiled.

I knew you did too.

~~~~  This is my dream I had of you.  Its just energy, everything is energy.  Jaz, I cant help it.  I know you do not feel the same way, but you needed to know. ~~~~

~Jules

Life is good....

Life is good.  :)

Learning lots about self.  Life, people and the many experiences and lessons.

There have been a lot of shifts happening lately and they get better and better.

Started a new job and it feels as though it will be a good fit.  This will give me a chance to catch up on bills, get the car fixed and start saving for those rainy days.  I sense I will be bringing a lot of light to this position and to the people around me.  This is a good thing.

I also hope to go back to school and get my bachelors degree.  Perhaps next fall, I feel this will be important.  Which field I have not decided on, but I know I want to go into some metaphysical subject.  Perhaps massage or acupressure.

In a relationship and it is going well.  There are always hills one needs to get over or resolves in ones own self and this man has helped me with many of these issues when a trigger is hit.  But we talk them through and come to the realizations as to why they are happening.  We shall see where it leads us both, but we have both learned from each other.  Its refreshing.  And I wasnt looking!

Still going to healing class and church at the Spiritual Church which was suggested for me.  I still enjoy the folks there and the many personalities there.  When I miss church for a Sunday, I can feel how it changes my vibration.

So thats it for now.

Life is gooooooood!  :D

~Jules

The Universe spoke

I sensed this weekend the Universe comes to give us messages in many forms.  Whether in the form of a God or Goddess, or in the form of an image, a sound, our Guides.  

This weekend the Universe/Creator/God/Divine Intelligence/Prime Creator, asked us to speak truth, observe and not judge. 

To Release all that does not suit our highest good.  Release the fears!!!  The fears of the need for materialistic items.  I am not saying we give this up completely, because we are humans living in this 3D duality.  What I am saying is, do we really need those new games for the Xbox or the new phone, when our old one works just fine, or new clothes when you have already 20 pairs of practically new jeans in the closet.  Do we need the pretty gems of rocks and jewelry (this one is hardest for me since I love stones and interesting pieces of jewelry.)  You get my meaning I hope.

Our fear of being accepted, it just doesnt matter.

So we need to step forward and express our truth!!  Not to give up on our dreams and to help heal Gaia/Mother Earth.  This is what I got from this weekends EWF gathering.  We all need to do our part, we can not rely on the govt to do this for us, WE THE HuMans of Earth!!!!

Please do not give up on her as many others have.  We do not have aliens or third parties coming to save us, they are here only to guide us.  So listen when the Universe is speaking in the wind, your dreams, books and patterns.  There is a reason.

Keep on keeping on.

~Jules

Update since last posted

Its been a long time since I posted anything

I am learning a lot.  A lot about me, others, etc.

Learning about the things I AM capable of doing if I really put the effort out there and use patience in the process.

I always go back to being grateful for all the teachers who have come within my path and will continue to do so. I bless every moment and give gratitude.

So to update on what new experiences have been coming about for me.

There are times when there are a lot of energies coming at me and I am not sure what these are.  Is something trying to get my attention?  A higher sensibility?  Incoming information?  Im trying to learn what it all means.  I wish I had some guidance on this and I do not.  So I accept it and meditate as often as possible and check to see if something new comes to me.

I still have yet to finish a book, but I am getting there.  :)  I was finally able to purchase it and read it in book form instead of on a PDF.  Such a HUGE difference, because I am able to take it with me and if the mood strikes me I can just open it up and read some of it at a time.  I am grateful as always.  Have almost completed Chapter 13.

There is still this spirit attached to me.  Finally I was told that he thought I was hurt and has been attached to me since I was 15 yrs of age.  He may have been in a house fire.  He was in a foster home and tried to save the other children that were in the house.  He was not able to make it out or didnt make it.  This happened while I was living in Staten Island, so I am going to look into some research to see if I can find any house fires that happens near or around this time.  I hope I can lead him to the light where he needs to go.

I have also found out there is a spirit here to help me guide those who need crossing over.  I am a beacon and I am here to help those who do not realize they are passed, to help them, if I should so wish to do so.  I accept, because I feel it is important.  So its important for me to sit down with this Spirit Guidance and see how to work this out.  I look forward to understanding this better and to move forward in my abilities.

There is yet ANOTHER guiding influence which comes to me as soon as I sit to meditate.  They call themselves the Council of 11.  A "communicator" as they call themselves speaks to me and its almost always the same message.  That I need to meditate deeper than I have ever meditated before.  I asked how and why always the same message?  The how of it was my breathing technique.  I need to breath in through my nose and out through my mouth.  Which I do not understand this concept, because I was taught in the the nose and out through the nose.  BUT I will try it and see what the difference is.  I find myself opening my mouth and trying this is my daily breathing to see if there is a difference.  As for the same message:  Because its very important and imperative.  There is something they need me for.  As always I use caution, but there doesnt seem to be any manipulative feelings or words spoken from them.

I keep thinking I am doing telepathy as well, but that could all be in my head too.  lol  But I will keep working on it.

I am still doing Touch Energy Hands on Healing, with the church Rays of Light/White Lily church.  I love every moment of it.  I realized one day, when I had a serious headache at healing class, that the person on the table was more important than my headache.  Sure the energies coming in made it hurt even more, but I persisted and the realization was that I am not important THEY were.  Yes I know to honor my body, but I was not going to be in dire straits.  I am grateful for this experience and realization.  Its been a YEAR since I was directed to these wonderful folks.  Thank you so much for helping me with this.  You know who you are.  :)

Sometimes on Tuesday during messaging service the Reverend allows me be a conduit for healing and almost every Sunday at Church service.  Very exciting indeed and I really enjoy being able to help these folks for the little time I am able to give to the healing process.  Its also interesting to feel the different energies with each individual.  Not like class at all.  Again grateful for this experience.

I am currently on the job search again, but in a different mode.  Looking for new paradigms and not the old ways.  What I am passionate about.  Which I am very set on doing.  I would love to open a place for touch healing, but I am thinking I need more of a back ground in other practices as well.  Almost certified in Touch Healing.

The idea is to complete my Bachelors perhaps starting in Spring or next Fall.  There is this amazing University I really, really want to attend called www.MUM.edu which is everything I have ever dreamed of in being taught.  Hands on learning, conscience based teaching methods, meditation, Vedic teachings, sustainability ... amazing!  In Iowa, and very expensive.  I will find a way to go there.  I have some time.  :)

Well, thats about all for now.

Love and light and always sending love to those near and far.  

~Jules

New and old

The best way to describe it is, I feel as though I am not really a part of the world I once knew.  Yet there is so much I have yet to learn.  I know this in my heart.

Everything has changed so suddenly, once again.

Once having been told was I ready to loose everything I once knew.  I understand this comment even more.

The old, no longer works for me and the new, at times confuses me.  Yet I look forward to every step and it feels natural at the same time.

I no longer hide who I am or what I am capable of doing.  I am more open about it with my family and friends.  They seem to be accepting of this and even they were not I am fine with this too.  I no longer need approval.  Its not important as it once was.  Moving into the new.  I smile when I think of the new ways.  Yet I look back at the journey of the old too, again smiling.

A new home.  New Job.  New ideas and thoughts to add to these locations.  To make new memories and cherish every moment, no matter the situation.

I breath calmness to those who are bickering, complaining and making snide remarks about others, or things and people they do not understand, at the new job and do my best to not get drawn into their world in that respect.  I listen, but stay detached.  I listen and send them love.

Yet, I come home and I snap.  Not even sure where it had come from or why.

I am going into a new routine and somewhere during the course of the day, while working I will need to find a moment during lunch to meditate and balance and recenter.  Keeping the light and vibes high.

Holding the light more and more than I once did.  More lessons and experiences.  I am very fine with this, because I am becoming what I had once forgotten.

I thank source for the experiences, all of them.  I am grateful.  It gets better and better every day, this beautiful journey known as life on earth and as a human.

Stay in love and light and joy.  Give thanks every moment of the day.

Love and light
~Jules

I have been working the Heart Chakra today, releasing, letting go and accepting what was and now is.  Letting go of the old and accepting the new paradigms.

Staying in love and light, service to others.  Accessing if you will.

Today when I came out of healing class, I felt the desire to glance down.  There it was laying there on the ground.  A leaf in the shape of a heart.  I felt it was a message to me and a reminder.

To stay in LOVE.

I have always been LOVED.

Send LOVE.

Love is the healer to the world, including myself.

Stay in LOVE, Stay in LIGHT.

~Jules

To "teacher" with love

My first teacher as I like to call him these days, taught me things I was not ready for or understood at that time.

When I first encountered you, I remember we spoke of praying.  You asked me if I prayed  for healing.  I said I did and I was new to it.  I remember sending photos of Battell Darby and the mounds there.  I recall your interest in the burial mounds.  

I remember our talking about a book I was reading at the library and if you knew the author?  Which sparked an interest on your end with a recommended book.  I had no clue what the importance of it was.

You helped me with my computer, which I thought, wow how kind of someone who I have never met, to help me so I can use my computer.  Again, I had NO idea!

As time went on I learned things I could not possible have made up on my own, co-creator or not.  lol

If you read this, know that every day I send love and gratitude.  I had no idea what I was getting into then, but I have a MUCH better understanding now, 10 months later, than I did in the beginning.  This woman is learning and learning and realizes more than ever at most of the things you were TRYING to teach me.  At that time it was not working out, but its a learning experience I had to go through.  I am grateful for the experience.

I am grateful for the separation even though at THAT moment it hurt like crazy.  There are days I still miss you and the gang.  What I miss most is being able to converse with you, share with you and yes learn from you.  I know its for the best right now.  But I long to sit and eat Cheetos with you once again, which I am not too fond of anymore.  Bummah!  lol

I hope you see and feel that I send you the love often.  You helped me through what I thought was a tough time.  Again grateful for the teaching and the experience I received.

I never did give up what you started.  I'm still learning and growing.  But there are those days when I am confused or not sure whats going on, I wish you were all there so I could ask and understand.

I am not saying the learning is over, because it never is.  But I get what you were talking about more and more these days.

One day, I hope you will see me and hug me HUGELY.

I never let the friendship go, or stopped loving you, or sending gratitude and appreciation.  There will always be applebummah.

BTW, Jax is doing great, he gets to come home to me in a few weeks!  My things are being moved out of the old place in a few weeks as well.  My energy is high and in good vibes.  I haven't stopped going to church or classes and I never miss one.  Started a gathering with folks from church and classes for the hopes of turning it into more of a support group.

I miss you and the guys, HUGELY!  I hope to hear from you soon!

Always and respectfully ~~~~~

Julie / Mz C.  <3

Sending positive energy

Last night while I meditated, I sent out healing energy to the people and areas hit by the Tsunami, Mother Earth, the Nuclear Reactor.  I felt as though the energies were sent.  

Hike was nice, but it felt very dead out today. The energies need to be lifted by everyone, this is how bleak it felt and it wasnt coming from me.  I gave thanks for the beauty in all the bleak.  Some of you are saying, how is that possible.  But it is if you open your eyes and the reasons for it.

I think the Creek really came in much more than usual and thus the bleakness of the land and feel of it. There were branches and leaves all pushed up in certain areas, telling me there must have been a rise in the water. I stood by the water and sent out healing to the surrounding area, felt good to do so.

When I got to the Indian mound I sat on the mound in the sun, with the wind blowing. Feeling the sun on the side of my face and the wind. Gazing at the blue sky, which they were littering with chem trails. :(  I sat writing in my journal and also meditated a little.  Opened eyes to find tiny spiders on me. oi! Brushed them off and gathered up my things.

I think a nap is in order!

Love and Light

~Jules

Grid

The coolness in the room touching my face and hands.  Blanket draping around me in its warmth.

Deep Breath in and exhale ... I relax....

Breathing in again, I release...

Now softly Breathing in and out...

Focus...

Focus on my breath, gently rising and falling.

Focus on the light shining in my minds eye.

Relaxed...

Breathing in deeply, the shining ball of light enters and moves down my spine, through my legs, to my toes and back up again and around to meet my toes...

The process repeated many times, I sense its need to end.

Sending the excess up and out the crown to meet up to the grid above, around and below...

The waves of love, joy, connection, being, lightness and floating~~~

I send love and light to the weaving and all those connected to it and around it...

The light sounds of various vibrations all around me on this connection.  As if being spoken to, yet not directly, by many people at once in a large auditorium, no distinct verbiage being said.

I sense a smile on my face for this connection.

The elation, that which I have never felt the like before...

The feeling of being pulled from my body ... just floating there for a moment~~~

I try to push more energy to the beautiful weaving, yet realize it is done ... 

For now~~~

~Julie / Caffeinatedtree

Gathering #3 2_19_2011

GATHERING #3

Love, light, community, social, support, sustainability, gathering of like minds, food, snax, books, cards, gemstones, CDs, etc.

This is what its about.

Yes, I may have got the group started, but its every ones group now.  We are all the teachers and students and hosts.  I'm the facilitator, teacher and student.

A Community where they can feel at home with their abilities and beliefs.  It is my hope this is what it will become.  A place to no longer feel as though they are sitting in the dark, alone, with the abilities they have.  They need this community to come forth with the experiences they are having.  To have support to talk about the new abilities or old, which they have not had someone they can go to, to speak with about their abilities.  They need others like us to help them develop those skills.  To help those who need healing.   This is how it is unfolding.  Becoming.

I'm not scared of this development, because I know there are many who want the same thing.  There are others who can help move this new community in the direction that is so needed here and everywhere else.

And so it is....

In love and light ...

~Jules

Distant sound, part 2

I was told some time ago, but I didn't realize what it was that I was getting into.

There is a spirit who calls himself the guardian.  He acts like a 5 yrs old child.  Questions of, "what are you doing?", "I love you", sings the songs I hum, yet he will say things repeatedly unless I would tell him to be quiet.

It had gotten to the point where I could no longer hear my own guides.  He would try to imitate where I "hear" their vibration.  For example:  ME: who is this I am speaking to?  HIM: Its me, your teacher guide guardian. (throwing the word guardian into another area with a different vibration).  He has even gone so far as to tell me lies, which would upset me.  BUT now that I know his game, it will not be happening anymore.  What really gave him away was he always asked what I was doing.  My guides already know what I am doing and I do not need to tell them.

My vibrations are up and they will remain up.  He knew he could get to me, but I have caught on.

Sometimes his intentions were good.  He would tell me to go meditate.  He would tell me not to buy junk food.  He would tell me not to buy crystals  lol  He would tell me to watch my speed while driving.  And sometimes he would crack me up, because yes he was funny, except when he said hurtful things.

So he couldn't lie completely.  He even got to the point where he would "throw" his voice.  But I have learned his game, now that I know he is not supposed to be here.

I can almost bet this is the same spirit I was dealing with back at Tamie's home that I was warned about by an old friend.  If I knew what I know now, I would not have had the experience, BUT everything happens for a reason.

So now the fire is not being fed and I asked my guides to push him to the back.  To protect me.  They were to be front and center, not this spirit who is meddling and manipulating.  I will not tolerate it any longer. I have tried the I send it love, now go method, many times, but its not working.  He has become more mute and I can not hear him as I once did.  And when I do, I change where I hear his vibration so I am not hearing him any longer.

My old friend, thank you for the information given back then, I really had no idea and now I understand, I cant JUST take bits of information and work with it.  Its too dangerous.  Live and learn.

~Jules

Distant sound....

The white noise which was in my left ear is very distant. What I had begun to get used to is almost non existent. To the point I am almost not able to understand a single word any longer.

Again, I wish I had someone to talk about this with, who has experience and knowledge so I told the Rev. and his wife what I was sensing and what I needed to learn in this process. Because I realize I need to trust the process and if the source wanted me to rely on one aspect, which I realize this is not the case, then the voices would be as loud as they once were a week ago.

I am certain with the new studies I have been looking into on my own, have something to do with this. Ive been working with Merkaba, some shielding, guide work and FEELING and SENSING. I have been so worried it would be incorrect information, I realize more so that I have to feel it within. I need to stop worrying if it is correct or not. Something I am coming more to terms with. To not be in control of the situation and stand in my power instead.

I guess it takes trial and error, when this is something as a noob everyone was telling me, but yet I didn't understand. I am grateful to those who did provide me with information and the lessons and pointers. I was listening, but I am sure I was not ready for the information being put forth. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I mean that.

I am blessed to have the time to do all this learning, very grateful. Thank you. And always thank you to the Source and my guides. Love love love!

~Jules

Coming into my own

I am realizing I need to come into my own. I am now realizing what this means.

I dont need others opinions or advice for something I need to find inside me. Its always been inside me. I just have to listen.

So from here on out, I am looking within and listening to my intuition as I used to do, so many years ago. Because even though I didnt know it at that time I was flowing.

I am grateful for this lesson and realization. Thank you source and thank you guys. I get it more and more every day. I'm forever grateful.

Always to eternity

Julie

Polarity

Perhaps these are messages sent to me while I rest and I need to share the information or being told to be prepared, I am not too sure as of yet.

My first dream or upon awakening from sleep, I was shown an image of what looked like a circle on a car dashboard. Inside the circle was a battery symbol and the positive and negative signs: + / - These were lit up in green. To me the color green represents go, ready, charged.

My second dream was of me observing a being with a big squarish magnetic type instrument in its hand. The being was helping me think it was someone I know in this life, perhaps to ease my worries. (I would prefer to see them as they really are.) I realized I am laying down on a table of sorts, because I can see my chest and legs. I am not sure if I was able to move or not, but apparently I was aware and they realized this. This magnet is on my right side, at my hip area, extracting something from me, which I see going up to this magnetic instrument. Something from me is floating lightly up to the instrument. The be-ings then say, "just in time". I am sure this is because I have become aware of what they were doing.

The next day I was exhausted. I felt heavy all day. My hips have ached since then, but with the help of some healing it has helped a bit.

Now what I realized in all this was a magnet has polarity, just as a battery would. Is the polarity within me or is this polarity shift which is taking place here with the Earth, so they say. The scientist and the people channeling this information?

For now, I will keep on doing what I need to do to raise the vibrations. Stay in light and love, and not be a slave to the world that once was.

Here and now.

~Jules

Gathering #2 - 1_22_2011

Gathering #2

We had our second gathering. It went very well and everyone was excited about the ideas I came up with, of course with the assistant of my guides and ideas from others. At least I feel the guides nudged me in that direction. :) I am happy everyone had a wonderful time and yes, they want more. :) Very exciting, since this is helping us all.

As everyone started to show for the gathering, we had coffee brewing, french toast being made, breakfast casserole in the oven and hot water boiling for tea. Everyone conversing and talking and getting better acquainted. A few new faces to add to the gathering which made it more exciting to get to know these individuals as well. It was a very comfortable setting and you could see the tension melting away from everyone as we settled to eat and converse.

Once we were finished eating, we got together in a circle and talked about some things with our experiences. Many different ideas and beliefs came about, which is normal and accepted. Everyone handled themselves very well with open minds of every ones beliefs.

With the assistance of practicing with my Spirit Guides, I recorded a meditation for the gathering. With the intent to connect with our Spirit Guides, along with breathing and relaxing during the meditation. After the meditation, I asked if anyone received messages, images, ideas, feelings and "felt" their guides come through. Some did, some are still feeling their way around what their guides "feel" like to them. For me, I feel them come over me, especially my guardian spirit. Who I know the best. There is another who is coming through lately in a different area, so I am learning who this one is as well. I play this game during some of my meditations to get familiar with them. Its very enjoyable and I am grateful to know they have always been here for me. Its amazing! :)

Then it was time to play a game. With our guides of course. :) Because once we are better acquainted with our guides, it helps with healing, being intuitive and being able to use it for mediumship. I picked 4 questions they should ask their guides. For example: What is the first color that comes to your mind and who in the room does it belong to. Some people had duplicates for the same person, which in my mind, this is confirmation. :)

This is a community to share what we are learning with meditation, guides, feelings, family matters. Its a community for us to know there is support for the gifts given to us by Source. Support is SO important.

I now understand more than ever what it means to be a TEAM and not just an Individual. And how we are all connected, we are ONE with the Source.

***********

And because I miss them so very much, I want to send a HUGE THANK YOU. There are some be-ings I wish I could share this with, because of my excitement about it. So many light workers, I wish I could pass your way. :) Because of these beings seeing something in me, I can only pass it on to other folks. IQXS, thank you.

Thank you for taking in this noob, who was clueless and teaching, putting up with, loving and caring for me. I know there were some ups and downs, but for me there were more ups than downs. Even though you are not around for me to converse with, know that you are very much in my heart and loved. I am forever to eternity grateful to you and always appreciated you. I still do. I miss your friendship and conversing with you. This noob still has a lot to learn. But always, always will I ever think of you first, those who saw the spark. Saw something I was not aware of, or maybe I just needed it to be woken in me. I will never forget you or stop loving you.

I am so blessed, in so many ways and with the many different individuals who have come into my life. Thank you.

~Julie / Caffeinatedtree / MZ C

The Invitation - by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

This is quite beautiful...

The Invitation

It doesn't matter to me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, and if you can dance with the wilderness and let the ecstacy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself, if you can hear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.

I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty everyday, and if you can source your life from God's presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn't interest me who you are, how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly
like the company you keep in the empty moments.

By Oriah Mountain Dreamer

(A Native American Elder)

Sleeping waves ~~

Ive been having odd dreams again. Yes I have written them down. I at times wonder if they are associated with the strong male vibration coming around me.

The other night I seriously felt like the bed was moving. I became aware that "waves" of vibrations were coming down all around me as I laid there. I became aware of the waves and watched them for a moment, but my eyes were closed. I must have been seeing them with my minds eye.

I then realized there was a man sitting beside me looking down at me. He was smiling a kind smile, almost like a teacher would when encouraging a student or when a student was aware of the situation. It was that .. see you did it, kind of look. I came right out of the situation, because he had startled me and then I realized the bed WAS moving or I was. I awoke immediately. I remember his kind eyes. Of a lovely blue-greenish color. Sandy brown hair, kind of wavy and not too short, just above the ears.

I hope to see this face again and understand it better.

Other dreams, not really making sense, but odd none the less.

I will keep asking for signs before I drift off to sleep.

And now sleep.......

Go home ./\.

"Go Home" he says, "Go Home." But I am home. "No, go home" I cant make out the rest of what he is saying to me. He is a strong presence and persistent. Isnt home where the heart is?

Why, oh why does his name have to be the same as an old friend, who let me go. I cried when I got confirmation on this. But he also gave an answer of his name in another form, which I am not sure which it is now.

Is it telepathic? hmph, cant be. So then my next thought is he is of the other realm. Of the spirits. But I am certain he is not a spirit guide. He doesnt feel menacing, because if he is he would suck me dry of my energy and surely he would tell me lies.

Go home. Maybe start back at the basics with some of my training? The book which I have put down, because my heart aches a little (yes I EFT and I forgive and say there has to be a reason why and I do not want to assume the reason why) when I look at it, but I know it needs to be read. Perhaps back to working on the heart chakrah? Keep accessing myself? Go home ... maybe within to my soul?

Im trying to find home. Where is home? Oh how I wish you were here to help me through this. I miss you. Please let me come home?

Control

Control.

When things get out of control, I want to be in control of the situation. I need to take charge. These are with things in MY life. Things and situations going on in my life. But this doesn't do me any good. In this moment in this time and place, in this incarnation, RIGHT NOW ... there is nothing I can do to speed up the situation which has got me feeling lost and well, not in control.

What is my need for wanting to control the situations, people, things in my life? Is it the fear that I will be without something from those things? I cant control people, I cant control situations. I cant change them or make them change.

Staying in the here and now will help, but I need to detach the ideas along with the situation that isn't working to my favor. It is not helping it in any way, what so ever.

My house mate, bless her. I started to cry because I am almost out of food and have no money. Instead of panicking like I had in the past, she reminded me, I have to accept the situation, because it can not be fixed today. I have to stay in the moment and move past this panic I am feeling inside. She let me cry, its a good cleansing. So long as truly let it go.

I am reminding myself to be thankful for the things I do have. The friends, my family. I am grateful to my house mate for being in the thought PROCESS I am with and in need of. I am grateful for the food in which I DO have left and will have to spread out this week. I am grateful to still have gas in my car in case of an interview. I am grateful to have a roof over my head, warm clothes, in a positive environment. I am blessed and very very grateful in and for so many things in my life.

Reminder for today. There is nothing I can do today, so move past it. Let it go. Stay in the moment and concentrate on other things I CAN do today. I can do this! I am able to over come this. Detach myself from the feeling of feeling helpless and flow. Just flow~~~~~

Paradigm

What brings me passion? Healing, helping, scheduling events.

What brings me joy? Healing, meditation, expressing how passionate I am about my new found path of the process.

How do I move out of the old paradigm and into the new? Move away from the past ideas and into new ideas, for a job I am passionate about.

What once worked, does not work any longer. (I recall reading this in a book recently .. hmmm)

Get a job any job, just doesn't seem to be working in that favor - The old paradigm.

Finding a job which brings me joy and I feel passionate about - New paradigm.

Love from here to an eternity...

The figure of a father, an uncle ... this is what you were to me. A wise soul, who saw a spark in me.

There are days and nights I long to converse with you and tell you how I am. What I learned today or what I have planned. I always longed to tell you, because you would understand.

I hope with all my heart and of and from my soul, that on the vibrations sent on the winds, you hear how much I still love you and always will. What I miss most from you is your friendship, love and good nights.

I move forward. Many, many days go by and I am fine, but there is always that missing link. I forgive during those times and forgive myself. Breaking the rear view mirror once again.

Stay well my old friend, who one day I long to meet, hug and you will know its me and I will know its you.

With Love from here to an eternity,

Me ... aka Julie/Caffeinatedtree

~~ Lead on! ~~

I feel a presence always surrounding me, comforting me. I talk with the presence and ask questions. Sometimes I hear it and sometimes I do not. There are times all I hear is a white noise in my left ear, yet there is a faint tin like, warbled voice in the background.

When the white noise seems to not exist, I worry they have gone away. I am learning more and more, fear is the enemy. They would never go away, they love me unconditionally. So I address the presence and I get reassurance. I send love, gratitude and appreciation once again. I am never alone and they have always been with me.

I know in time, in this lifetime, in this incarnation I will be more in tune with them. These are only the first steps.

Lead on kindly lights! :)

Here and Now

I get reminders told to me to stay in the Here and Now. Dont go too far into yesterdays or into tomorrows. Most of all move on from yesterday and stay right in the here and now. Yesterday a note on my wall fell to the floor. It said, "Stay in the HERE AND NOW"

Some days, more than once upon a time in my past, I stay there in that moment and I flow, flow, flow. I float upon the current in the seas, which keeps me from the undertow.

Again I stay in the here and now.

~Jules

Contest for the kitties

I posted this for the chance to win a $20.00 gift certificate to be able to provide food for my boyz. It was to be 200 words or less and Jax was the narrator. And the topic what was their goal for 2011. Send love for it will happen. :)

I added a picture and this is the picture shown above.

Enjoy!

"Well, Im the skinny old man on the left. My name is Jax and this young fat kid to my right that moved in 4 yrs ago, Slyder. Our care taker, the human, has left us in a home with 7 other cats and 3 dogs. Another female human is caring for us till our human moves us out. She comes to feed, water and give a ton of pets (petting and love) to us once a week. Don’t tell anyone, but I really enjoy sitting on her lap now. I have given in to being so grumpy, she brings me warmth with these old bones. Darn humans!”

“She promises us, she is doing the best she can to find us a new home with her. Times are hard. I have been with her for 14 years and I know she will. My goal is to live with my human caretaker again and for her to be able to provide better food for us. These old bones need a new home and her bed to sleep on again. And I know she loves us."

~Jules

Gathering 1 from 12_24_2010

So I got inspired.

I had been thinking about how important it is to have a community for those of us who are starting this awakening process. How its important for us to have people to relate to, correspond with, go to and learn from. A community to share our situations and what we have learned. We need support to be able to tell someone our guides are needing to speak with so and so, or when someone needs to take a moment, sit right down in the middle of the room to meditate out of the blue or give someone healing from source. It should be like this everyone and in any place!

Well, I started a group with folks from church, healing class and development class. We will be meeting once a month, outside of the church and class environment to get to know each other better and to learn from each other.

The first gathering was a great success, having 8 people there. It flowed very nicely as it was more of a meet and greet to get to know each other better. We performed some healing, played with rocks and did a small meditation at the end. None of this was planned it just fell into place. We had fun and laughs and learned from each other as well. This is how it should be.

Everyone who attended wants me to plan another one! I am delighted to hear this, since this is very important for this day and age.

Mind you I am the organizer, not just a friend, teacher or student. I am neither a leader, but an equal to these folks, but yet we all lead at one time or another. We respect each other and come with open minds. We are all teachers and students in all aspects of the life relations, which come to and fro within our lives.

I am looking forward to the next gathering and maybe we can have some fun and come up with a name for our group. I will keep you all posted on this and let you know how the next one goes. :)

~^~ Upon the wind ~^~

Go within, go within as I hear this whispered upon the wind ...

Live in love, stay in light, dont fight...

Stay within the flow and you will grow ... once again upon the wind ...

High in the sky, the bird do fly and on the wind their songs are sung.

I sing my song with the ebb and flow of always maintaining that stay in the flow ... which comes upon the whispers on the wind....

~Jules