T'ville

My Life has changed so quickly, but I would not change it for the world. (no puns in tended on the world, lol ;) )

I am learning and growing in leaps and bound and I do not mind one bit. This is after all, what I wanted. 2 years of having been on hold and I love the ride I am on. I feel like I can not get enough and some of the times I do not know where to start. Because there is so much information coming at me and yet, so little time.

I am grateful for a team who helped me through a rough time. Even if they do not know this. I cant be sure they were aware of my situation 4 months ago and before that time. I am grateful and appreciate them very much so. I feel great love for them, which has taken time for me to consider since I was and still am learning to love myself. They are like uncles and perhaps one more a father figure, who will scold when I am not sharp. But I know its for my own good. But I also know the relationship is what it is. I feel if they would not have noticed, I might still be sitting in my room crying my eyes out, for emotions I could not own as my own.

I still have my battles with my emotions from time to time and more so once a month. The last two days have been very emotional for me and I have no idea why. Again it seems to be a monthly problem which creeps up on me and I am edgy, irritable and could cry at the drop of a hat.

I am grateful for two other people who have entered my life as well.

One woman is from across the pond. She is wise and self taught, which I admire her for. I never had the resources in front of me till much later in life. She is close to the team I speak of above, very much like brothers to her. Which, yes I have always know this. She has told me a great many things which I hold in confidence, because this is my nature. I truely hope one day she will see she has misunderstood me more than once. I miss what we once had when I first met her and perhaps one day we will again. But, I give her space and say hello now and then. I think this is where we are at till perhaps one day we will be equal.

The other is a woman in NY. Another self taught. I also admire her and how talented and carefree she is. She inspires me every day with her smiles which shines through, her thoughtfulness and her abilities. She just gets me as a human being. She has guided me and introduced me to many things, which I never thought to look into. There is more to it than I thought.

So, with all the my changes ... I will write more one day. When I am a little older and wiser with these changes. Yet also, before its time for the other big change, which is soon to come.

Till next time!

~Jules

"Today" - Song

This is a song which came to my mind in an instant, while I was thinking about the future of our world and know what will become of us and the wonderous things. Will we still be able to do the things mentioned below. For we will never know till that time truely does come.


Today could be the last time... we.... dance...
Today could be the last time that we take... that chance...

Although one day we will all dance as one...

May we laugh and hold each other in our hearts today ...
May we sing songs of joy and the memories we made...

Let the fires in our hearts remain true and strong to our selves
Let our voices ring out with love and joy!

Be true ..... to you... and everyone.
See through ... to the light ....
Feel the love of the greater good for tomorrow will bring a new...

(start back at the top)

~Jules

Simple song I made

These are words I just sort of made up on one of those long drives back into Columbus from where I live now. I needed to write the words down so I would not forget them. But I guess its catchy, because it keeps running through my head. :)


We are soul...
(WE ARE SOUL)

We are one ...
(WE ARE ONE)

We are connected ....
(WE ARE CONNECTED)

We are one....

You and me .... we are one ...
We are soul ... we are connected ...


~Jules :)

*repeat if you desire :) I know I sure do, since its stuck in my head. Wake up humming it in my head.

Rain song

Listening to the sound of the rain on the pavement...
on the roof...
upon my umbrella...

They all sing a different song, yet they are One.

Starting fresh

I have decided to start fresh with my blogs again. I have so missed writing.

I spent so much of my past time, trying to fix something which could not be fixed. Its time to not look back, but look in the here and now.

So, here and now ....

Mountain top with you...

(A repost from my past. From May 2009.)

You took me up on the mountain top. The view I saw will never be lost.

So far and wide, yes scared was I. You smiled as you said, take my hand and we will fly ...You held my hand and calmed my soul, I cant believe I let it go.

Falling and falling, I should have held onto you.

At the bottom I could only see you at the top, so exposed to the world and no more than a dot.

Sitting at the bottom, where its cold and damp, I should not have let go on that mountain cap. I should have held tight and went off on the flight.

My heart aches from tumbling down the side. If I could take back all that was lost, I know that you would not still be standing alone on the top.

One day I hope this will show. And the love we once had will again grow. And back on that mountain we will go, to fly to where ever it may be.

Always,
~Jules

Still

(Reposted 7/7/2010)

Standing still, eyes closed, I sense you.
Laying still I feel you. Ever closer.

A touch, a kiss, the heat inbetween.
The energy coming off of skin.
A trace, a nip, giving in.

You breath and sigh a happy sigh. At least I think it is.
You breath and realize... the need for escape.
Letting go is not your way.

~Jules